Bessie’s
Burgers
By
Ralphael Pacheco
No one would fault you
for being oblivious to the existence of Bessie’s Burgers, namely because it was
a local joint in the ass end of Nowhere, Pennsylvania. That being said, as a
restaurant manager, one of the employees flipped me the double-bird early one week
and disappeared. It seemed premeditated, if I’m to be honest, and left me in desperate
need of some new hires to fill his spot.
The
morning caffeine began to kick in near nine o’clock the next day. I tidied
myself in the back office as I prepped for two interviews, both of which I
managed to schedule before noon, by some miracle. I shuffled through the résumés,
giving them both another once-over. It really wasn’t necessary, as the job was entry-level,
but I had always found this part of the process fascinating. I saw the world as
a container for all sorts of characters, two of whom were going to walk through
the door in front of me, and only one of whom I could hire to flip burgers.
The
first candidate showed up ten minutes late, and didn’t bother to open with the
trite “sorry I’m late” remark. Ouch. Still, first impressions were reconciled
by his fancy suit and firm handshake. He was a rather large man with a frame
that sat somewhere between plump and sturdy. I wouldn’t doubt if he enjoyed
quite a few of our burgers before sending in an application. “Welcome, Mr. Berg,”
I began. “I’m John Dominic, the restaurant manager for this location. Go ahead
and have a seat.”
“Okay,
and call me Donny. All my friends do.”
I
smiled and nodded. “All right. Donny. You’ve got quite the impressive résumé,
but nothing pertaining to this kind of work. Why should I trust you to cook at Bessie’s
Burgers?”
“It’s
not on my résumé because I’ve never been paid for it, but believe me: I make good
burgers. The best burgers. I made my mom a burger once. She said it was the
best damn burger she’s ever had.”
“A
single burger?”
“When
I get this position, some of the greatest burgers will be coming out of this
place. When you look at the customer satisfaction these days, when you look at
people’s faces when pulling out from here, you can tell there’s maybe one or
two great burgers each day.”
“Is
that a fact?”
“But
I’ll make sure every burger here is tremendous. I’m gonna reel it back to the
golden days of Bessie’s Burgers, when the name meant something.”
“Hold
on, are you implying that it’s worse off now?”
“No,
no, John, that’s not what I meant. In fact, you folks have made quite a name
for yourselves competing with places like Five Guys in such a small town. But
there’s always room for improvement. Vast improvement. I’m here to improve your
joint big league.”
“All
right… I guess I’ll let that slide. So Donny, where do you see yourself in five
years at this establishment?”
“Well,
I hope this doesn’t frighten you, but honestly I see myself in your position.
Management. My father was a manager, and his father was a manager. It’s just in
my blood.”
“I
respect your ambition. So hypothetically, if you were to achieve a managerial
position, what would be your first course of action?”
“I
think my first course of action might be to fire half our employees.”
“Um.
What?”
“Now
hear me out. On the way in I couldn’t help but notice a good number of folks of
the Mexican persuasion under your employment. Now I love Mexicans, but they’re
bad for business. If they were undocumented, then at least we could get away
with paying below minimum wage under the table – the more we can pocket from
our customers, the better – but otherwise there’s no use in having them
around.”
I
blinked. Loudly. “First of all, that’s quite racist. Secondly, that’s illegal
on a number of levels. And lastly, you’d be hard pressed to find a Mexican in
P-A. The employees you’re referring to are Puerto Rican.”
Donny
shrugged. “Eh, same difference.”
“Oookay
then.” I began to wonder if he’d ever done a job interview before in his life (or
interacted with another human being, for that matter). Regardless, I was intent
on seeing it through. Never once had I lost my professional temperament mid-interview,
no matter how grueling. But just when it began to feel like it was running
long, I shuffled the papers in front of me to see the next point of note. “So…
Some superficial research reveals issues of character that may stand between
you and this job.” And by superficial research I meant Googling his name for less
than five minutes. “One doesn’t have to go too far back on your social media
feeds to see you blackout drunk at parties. And also, it says here that you’re
a registered sex offender.”
“Okay,
I’ll admit, I do party a little hard sometimes, you know how it is. But the
latter is completely unfounded. I’ve never offended sex in my life. It’s never
happened.”
“Um,
no, I’m pretty sure I’m reading your name right.”
“I
never did those things.”
“Your
accusers took you to court.”
“The
allegations were false, and they were dropped --”
“I
read that you would’ve done decades of hard time if your father’s lawyers hadn’t
gotten you acquitted.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,
that might’ve happened.”
“…All
right then, I think that’ll be all for now, Donny.”
We
shook hands again as he stood up. It was the same confident handshake as
before, but it felt leagues different after the fact. “Thanks for your time, John,”
he said, a devious smile across his mug.
“You’ll
receive a call should we have no other choice.”
It
was a great relief to have that walking trainwreck clear of my office. I
breathed a loud sigh the moment the door clicked shut. If you would’ve asked me
then I’d have said it was clear cut. I’d have said that whoever walks through
the door next without killing anything has the job.
The
other candidate showed up on the dot. Punctual. Off to a good start, it seemed.
She was dressed for success just as well as the last, with a soft and graceful
handshake. She had a petite frame, but a way of carrying herself that seemed to
amplify her presence.
“Welcome,
Mrs. Mariah. I’m John Dominic, the restaurant manager for this location.”
She
donned a friendly smile. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dominic. And please, call
me Hill.”
“Very
well then, Hill. Have a seat.” I shuffled her papers into order. “Well, it’s my
pleasure to say that you have the proper experience for the job. I mean, you
seem to have made a career of flipping burgers. And I see here that you climbed
the ranks to regional manager for Burger King.”
“Yes
sir, that is correct.”
“Hot
damn. That’s a whole head above my pay grade. It’s almost flattering that
you’re the one coming to me for a
job.”
She
let out a bashful giggle. “Thank you, sir. I do try my best in any
circumstance.”
“And
that’s an excellent quality. But of course that begs the question: What are you
even doing here? How did you lose your place in large-scale management to begin
with?”
“I’m
afraid the situation at BK was all a big misunderstanding. It was the culmination
of personal conflicts that grew out of hand and led to my resignation. But rest
assured: it was all amicable. I would be welcomed into any management position
if I were to apply, but I feel it’s best for now to return to my roots, working
at the ground level where I feel I can make just as big of an impact.”
“I
don’t know. I reached out to your previous supervisor, and he returned an email
saying that you were fired for…” I turned to my monitor and opened the email to
read it right off. “’Misconduct; including blackmail and conspiracy to force the
resignation of superior management.’ That doesn’t sound too amicable to me.”
“I’m
afraid that’s simply untrue. As I stated, it’s the result of interpersonal
tension blown out of proportion in a workplace environment.” Her eyes darted to
the side for a moment. “My supervising manager and I simply didn’t get along,
and he arranged for me to lose my position.”
“Well
I suppose that’s believable, but I’d have to hear both sides to make an
assessment. In either case, this conversation is happening on the heels of a
disastrous interview that has me wondering how good of a team player you are.
Can you get along with others in a close environment like a fast-food burger
kitchen?”
“With
respect, what you’re asking is if I can do a job that I’ve done for years. And
the answer is yes.” Her eyes drifted off once again before refocusing. I
followed her sightline out the window and into the parking lot, but I couldn’t
tell what exactly she kept looking at. “I can and will cooperate with my
coworkers in a way that ensures optimal output from all of us, but most
importantly: optimal burgers.”
“That
all sounds well and good, but I’m afraid I also received a follow-up email from
your previous employers, warning that you enlisted a number of other regional
managers in your coup, which could’ve disgraced a number of Burger King’s
executives.”
“Like
I said, all untrue. Those harsh notes are the vigor of vendetta. I admit, I
made mistakes in my prior job, but I won’t admit to any I didn’t do.”
“I
suppose it all reads the same on paper, but you have to understand this from my
perspective… I’ve got to take the prospect of job security very seriously. If
I’m appointing you to work for me, I don’t want to be looking over my
shoulder.”
Hill
looked out the window one last time, then back to lock eyes with mine. She
flashed that friendly smile, which now sent a chill over my skin. “Well. That’s
your call to make. Will that be all, Mr. Dominic?”
I
gulped down some spit. “That’ll be all, Hill.”
We
stood and embraced handshakes once more. “Thank you for the opportunity,” she
said softly.
I
dropped at least ten pounds of weight from my shoulders when the door slammed
shut. I breathed a sigh before waltzing over to the window. There were a number
of vehicles in the lot, but there was a pickup truck that would’ve been front
and center from where Hill sat. A dark tarp covered the back. Something looked
to be moving underneath. It was difficult to see clearly from a distance, but
what looked like a skinny, shriveled hand began crawling out. A morbid
curiosity compelled me to stare. Moments later, Hill approached the vehicle and
shoved the hand back under the tarp before getting into the driver’s seat and taking
off.
I
leaned back into my chair, observing the pair of résumé’s still fresh atop my
desk. The onset of a headache could be felt, and my focus began to fade. But
one thought rang clear above the others: “Damn. I have to choose.”
I spent far too many
working hours mulling over this dilemma in my head. My habit of pacing in
circles returned in full force for most of it. Perhaps if I’d spent less time
sulking I would have noticed the email on my desktop much sooner. This one came
straight from the top:
From: joshuad52@bessiesburgers.com
To: johnd86@bessiesburgers.com
Subject: Assurance
Dear Mr. John Dominic,
HR has informed me of
your present crisis. You have failed to hire for a position at your location that
has been left unexpectedly vacant since the beginning of the week, despite having
conducted interviews on two qualified candidates. Given the sudden nature of
your predicament, it is implicit that the issue lies in your indecisiveness, a
trait I have personally observed in your past. With that being the assumption,
I would like to offer the following advisement.
As evidenced by this
message, there is nothing that happens at any Bessie’s Burgers location that goes
unnoticed by executive oversight. Although there may be a sense of isolation in
the day-to-day of restaurant management, I can assure you that you are never
alone. That despite the wide gap in our positions I still maintain your best
interest in mind. I would also remind you that, no matter how dire the
situation may seem, nothing in this company is beyond repair nor is it outside
my reach. I would encourage you to move forward with whatever decision your
conscience moves you toward, with the knowledge that regardless of whether it
is right or wrong, it is yours. And even if time proves it wrong, you have a
friend up here who can make things right.
No matter the
outcome, whether you choose one, the other, or neither, Bessie’s Burgers will live
on.
Sincerely,
Founder & CEO of
Bessie’s Burgers,
Joshua Dominic
I
couldn’t keep the smirk out of my face. My eyes drifted back to the résumés with
renewed determination.
“Thanks,
Pops.”
FIN
